Sincere Apologies of Absolute Abandonment

I didn’t finish NaNoWriMo.

Congratulations, however, to everyone who did successfully finish. I am envious and determined to complete NaNo next year as well as both Camp NaNos this summer. I’ve already got ideas for writing and am quite proud of what I’ve already gathered.

However, I really have completely abandoned this lovely blog of mine and didn’t write once during the month of November and I think that might be a large part of the reason why I failed. It turns out that November decided to be a very unlucky month of trouble, trauma and drama and I was very stressed in the second week.

We’re talking about Christmas now and everyone’s shopping or shopped or has ideas or doesn’t … it’s a hustle bustle time of year. But the holiday season is actually my favorite. The holiday season of winter has the best food of the whole year. It also has some of the best, most familiar music everywhere.

I’m writing at half past noon because I’m sick today. I tried to brave school but it just didn’t work out and I came home after Spanish. Psychology was nice although it offered no aid to my growing headache. B days give me huge headaches. In psychology, we’re in psycho-physiology¬†which essentially has to do with consciousness, sleeping, and dreams and what they mean, if they mean anything and how much importance we should hold in them.

I’d love to go into more detail but I’m fairly exhausted because I haven’t had enough sleep lately as well as the fact that I’m not feeling very well. I really, quite seriously apologize to my few and far between loyal readers. Now that November is over I promise to resume updating! I just can’t promise the frequency.

Have a wonderful holiday season, everybody. ūüôā


Couldn’t be sorrier if I tried.

I’m doing well. Researching and planning and taking notes and things for Nano. Very sleepy. Catching up on schoolwork too, or keeping myself on top of it. Either way you look at it. Ooh, it’s been such a long day, with such a rollercoaster of emotion that I just.. no. Can’t. I hope you don’t despise this blog for the lack of commentary. I miss you lovely loyal readers forever. Pray that I don’t lose my sanity next month.

Blogging for Blogging’s Sake

I’m such a terrible procrastinator, it’s depressing.

The wonderful thing is that I’ve got tomorrow off for Columbus day. This is good because I’ve got a paper due on Tuesday, 2-3 pages, that I haven’t written past the introduction paragraph. Not to mention whatever the hell’s been assigned for Geometry.

Then I have the PSAT testing on Wednesday which is just fabulous because that means I will be missing both Psychology and Spanish. That means I get to go straight from PSATs to Choir, where the teacher is uptight this year and we usually are forced off into sectionals which suck because the people that lead the Soprano section are absolute bitches with sticks up their asses.

I’m not bitter, though.

Mom and I were supposed to make cookies today but I don’t think she’ll hold on to that because she’s on the phone with some dumbass in New York despite the fact he’s married and she’s been on the phone for a long time¬†which is not only creepy but creepy for HER, as she’s one who doesn’t DO things like call random guys that she doesn’t know. Whatever. Very annoying.

Today, I watched a documentary on the history of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell followed by It’s Kind Of A Funny Story¬†which is a wonderful movie and an even better book. I’d read the book awhile back but I’d never seen the movie until today.

I have this really disgusting feeling like I’m tired, except I’m not. It’s kind of a groggy and indifferent-except-pissed-off-at-everything sort of feeling. I don’t know, that’s a terrible description, I’m aware. But that’s how I feel. I want to start going to a counselor and I asked Mom to call but she refuses when I actually ask her to. The only times she’s ever offered to do it on her own are when we’re actually talking peacefully and I’m enjoying it. It’s fucking terrible. But she’ll call a strange man in New York she’s never met.

I have really got to stop bitching about that stupid ordeal.

Here comes the tired part of this awful mood. I’m like physically exhausted, and hot, and gross. But I’ve already showered today and really don’t want to again. So I turn the A/C on except it’s too cold. Fuck, man. What’s with me? Is this some sort of weird bipolar-temperature sickness? I dunno. My mom’s been sick for awhile now but refuses to get anything heavier duty than fucking Aspirin. I suppose it’s not even unlikely that she’s got me sick, but.. huh. I dunno.

I’m making myself write because I’m disgusted with how little I’ve been writing when I SAID I would write every day. It used to come so easily and now the days just evaporate without having any time devoted to writing. And the things I write are so short. This here up until this point is just 484 words. And next month I’m expecting myself to be able to write 1667 words per day? Oh yes, that’ll happen.

Although, I’ve got an alternative idea that may just work out. No details, because I KNOW the one person that really reads this is going to ask -_- But it’s something I know would make the mark and something I might could feel comfortable with writing. We’ll see how it goes up until then.

Yeah I’m sorry but I can’t keep myself writing anymore, this is just depressing. Perhaps I’ll write later dare I tempt Fate that I just might find inspiration, but I don’t think it’ll happen. With less than 600 words … Adieu, WordPress.


A Series of Events, Fortunate and Not So Much


I’m going to get the sad stuff out of the way first so that I may release it and be done with the constant reminded sorrow that I keep feeling.

A very important figure from our modern world has passed on. Yes… Steve Jobs, at 56 years old, has died. Jeesh, I still don’t think I can register it yet. It’s so weird. He battled it for so long and lived for so much longer than expected that to believe he’s gone feels completely… weird. He contributed so much to the world, through Apple and Pixar both. He was such a positive and open-minded man. It’s very sad to lose such a progressive man in this day and age. But, I really feel uncomfortable talking about this because it depresses me, and there are many more a speech than the few words I could say. All I know is, Mr. Jobs, wherever your spirit is, I hope you can see all of the memorials and how much your absence is affecting the world. We’ll miss you more than words can tell.

Now… moving on, before ¬†I get ridiculously depressed again.

The first choral concert of the year was last night and everyone did fantastically. A lot of the important seniors from last year that helped turn us into better singers showed up and it was very sweet. And the soloists, of which there were quite a few, all shone like stars. I was really starstruck by them all. They’ve kind of given me confidence to try out for future solos, because they were just so.. Impressive. Confident. Talented. I don’t even know the right word because none of those, while all true, aren’t the ones I’m looking for. There was something about their attitude. It was contagious, though. I felt so much better about being on stage and about singing out and standing perfectly that all of my stage fright and nerves just melted away. It was truly an interesting experience.

Mr. Broderick, my Psychology teacher, is going to help me throughout October to plan for my Nanowrimo piece. I hand-wrote my top three ideas down today and brought them to him. It’s interesting because they vary on difficulty; one is pretty typical for a chick-lit book but it’s something I am positive I could write 50,000 words about. The second will be difficult because it involves a lot of action which is something I’ve never written before. And the third would be interesting because it’s more of an abstract concept, which I’ve again never written about.

Anyway, I’m really tired. I apologize for missing a day. I was incredibly tired last night after coming home from the concert and the concert was the meat and potatoes of the day so I couldn’t write before then! And then today, the first thing I really did was take a three hour nap. So yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of catch up on sleep. Woohoo.

So I think I’m done for the day. Got a nice long three-day weekend coming up, no school on Monday and then a Spirit Week which will be fun. ūüôā Lots of good things to write about, most hopefully. Daily Post has a couple of good topics the days I choose I am too tired to actually write which is really annoying but that’s okay, I might go back a day or two when I have more time and energy to write. This hasn’t been bad, really, as it’s only the sixth of November and despite how tired I am I got roughly 600 words out. Prepping and pushing and trying real hard. Now it’s time for sleep, my dearies, for time has successfully slipped away.


Cupcakes and Writing, Writing and Cupcakes…

Cupcakes. I made ten of them. They are gingerbread cupcakes with cinnamon frosting. They are delicious. I can’t have any because they’re for the concert and dessert night tomorrow.

This entry won’t be long and I apologize but I was cleaning the kitchen immediately after I got home and from there I spent a long time making cupcakes and hanging out with Mom so as you may have guessed I’m rather behind on all of my necessary duties such as showering and scrapwriting/brainstorming for Nano.

Which brings me to writing. Yes, writing. I have an idea. I’m going to try and branch onto it with outlines and developments. We’ll see how that goes. I have high hopes for it, I have a secret source of inspiration I’m drawing from. With luck, all will go well. If not, I have lots of other ideas that I’m also very optimistic about. All is going well considering it’s only the fourth day of October.

I’m really tired and I’m going to go shower now and come back and probably write for Nano and completely forget all about homework until tomorrow morning. Except biology probably because biology is a little more extensive … I think. Maybe? I don’t know. Headaches. Dear lord save me.


NaNoWriMo: The Prep Begins

Today is October 1st, 31 days from the beginning of a nerve-wracking contest that I’m probably a moron for attempting to do. NaNoWriMo, if you have yet to hear about it, consists of people all over the nation attempting to write 50,000 words in the month of November in novel-form. Which essentially means, fiction. Lots of it.

I wanted to begin upon deciding what to write about by searching the NaNoWriMo forums but if you’ve ever taken a peek at them (which you can do here) they are rather long and extensive just in categories and sub-forums and I got freaked out and came back to my blog.

What to write about, hmm..

WordPress has suggested that I try to write one post per day to get me into the habit of obscene amounts of writing that I will need to partake in if I want to achieve the goal of 50,000 words. I think that on the days I have no idea what to write about (as you know is a frequent problem with me) I will look up things online about how to make a good piece of writing. I know there are lots of tips and tricks out there, and that’ll help me keep up the ideology of writing fifty thousand¬†words in thirty days. It will also help my craft of writing as it is.

By the way, you guys may have noticed this by the way I write in blogging alone but I’m a stickler for things being spelled correctly, correct punctuation, etcetera. I can ‘t do¬†that for NaNoWriMo. They repeat this over and over throughout the website. There is no editing your novella. It is all about the word count. All the time you spend wanting to edit or revise or reword or rephrase… No. That time should all be spent expanding.

I will be making a separate blog for the NaNoWriMo novella itself. I will keep it private because of .. well, obvious reasons. Be aware, my normal blogging will probably decrease quite a bit. I will try to QuickPress every now and again to make y’all aware of my sanity and some interesting things of my life or perhaps every now and then I’ll post an excerpt of whatever it is I’m writing.

This is truly a cheating post, and I know it is. Perhaps later if there’s much to talk about, I’ll post something similar to yesterday about thinking and recollecting memories. An interesting activity, isn’t it? Even if the random seven I picked have little to no relevance to the present, it’s still an interesting way to spend time. Simply thinking.