Summer came and went.

It’s 10:27 pm and I should be trying to sleep or at least reading because I’m supposed to have read three books this summer for AP English IV, and I’ve read one and haven’t even chosen a third and this is all due by next Friday; and sleeping because tomorrow is my boyfriend’s first day of school and he has to get up ridiculously early to attend with his mom the preparation of the senior breakfast/parade/thing. Lucky, we don’t get a parade.

I’ve totally abandoned this blog over the summer, which I sorely regret. There’ve been a lot of things worth documenting and I haven’t done any of it.

I left for Raleigh on the first of July, the day after the boyfriend’s family returned from the Bahamas. That wasn’t originally our choice date, by the way; that ended up happening because the prices were cheaper for airline tickets. We didn’t do a lot the first couple weeks; we played some games, watched some TV, wrestled around a bit and were lectured about college visits and thoughts and such things. Uncharacteristically of our summers, we did very little cooking or crafting. We did some, sure, but not a whole heck of a lot in comparison to the past couple summers.

So what did we do? We took an unofficial tour of North Carolina State University with the boyfriend’s eldest cousin and an official tour of the University of North Carolina at Charlotte (not even close to each other in date), we swam quite a bit at the general pool and not much at all on the working-week-long beach trip, we stayed up late hours to discuss history and philosophy and several other things besides.

In the last week, I panicked and decided to make crazy quick craft progress. I made a yellow pig log pillow (it is the best thing ever, perhaps there will be a picture in a later post), a popsicle-shaped phone case (ditto on the picture), and a no-sew iron-on senior-themed canvas bag.

We had an airport fiasco in which my first of two flights was so heavily delayed (and confusedly so – first it was delayed, then on time, then early, then delayed again …) that I was sure to miss my connecting flight in Dulles, and so I stayed another night than originally planned and left much earlier in the morning than I’d have liked. The boyfriend and I were allowed to snuggle together (under different covers!!!) in the same bed that night, and it was the best sleep I had the whole summer.

That was on Thursday night and Friday morning. Now it’s Sunday night, the boyfriend starts school tomorrow and I on Thursday. We’ll be seniors in high school and we’re going to start looking at applying for colleges as soon as September starts. We’re looking to apply to all of our schools early so that we improve our chances of getting in.

It’s been a good couple of months … and of course, they felt too short. But believe it or not, I’m feeling pretty okay about it. Confident, I might even say.


… Of course, it remains to be seen how long this feeling will last. Good luck to all the other rising seniors out there, and to all the other high school students and college freshmen too.


Happy People Versus Unhappy People: How Do They Do It?

So while reading the Facebook feed I come across this story about happiness that shamefully links to itself at least fifteen different times if not more. Now, I clicked on it because it looked promising and interesting and if you guys haven’t noticed I’m on a progressive path of improvement lately and it sounded useful.

And indeed, a lot of these points were good … but a lot of them also sounded a little bit like crap to me. So now I’m here to bring you my own personal experience with happiness and unhappiness, optimism and pessimism, and how to see the glass a little bit fuller.

  • Set realistic goals. You aren’t going to be able to get a 4.0 GPA for the year if you have a 3.29 GPA in the third quarter of the school year. You’re not going to be able to reach the managerial position of the company that just hired you to be a part-time worker. You need to take baby steps to achieve the things you want. Not only is this an excellent mechanism for actually understanding and achieving the ultimate goal that you want, but it gives you extra opportunities to feel good about yourself. Each step that you make and surpass makes you happier.
  • Know how to cheer yourself up. Listen to your favorite (not sad) songs, watch your favorite movie. Maybe surf the Internet with StumbleUpon if it suits your fancy. When you know you need a pick-me-up, know what to do. Idle time could be time well spent if you make it.
  • Know when to work hard. Even if you don’t want to. You won’t be making the grade (or promotion) if you don’t put the time into the task. There are times for yourself and there are times for dedication to the goal at hand, and it’s vital that you understand the difference.
  • Manage your time. This is basically a predecessor to the previous two bullets, but again, it’s incredibly important in order to remain sane while changing your life for the better that you know when to relax and when to pull an all-nighter studying or learning something for your job.
  • Be patient and tolerant. It isn’t going to make your goal any easier to achieve by putting down others, or getting frustrated for things that aren’t worth the trouble. In fact, by trying to be more peaceful and patient, you may find your relationships with others become friendlier and this is often a useful thing if you need the assistance of others in your goal. For example, a student to study with or a teacher to devote extra time, or a boss to impress who would be promoting you.
  • Never underestimate the power of taking care of yourself. If you feel low, and you’ve been feeling low and none of your normal activities are working to get you feeling okay again … You should begin what I call Revitalization. Draw a nice long bath with bubbles. Maybe read a book or play some music, light  some candles, whatever floats your boat. Then dry your hair, brush your teeth, comb your hair, do all of the little things that you always do and all of the little things that you never quite have time to do. Clip your nails. Floss your teeth. Shave, if you are so inclined. At the end of the process look in the mirror at all of the differences. You smell good, look good, and hopefully … feel good.

Anyway, this is a list that I wanted to go a little differently and many things distracted me from the ultimate goal, which was supposed to be oriented in a way similar to the Purpose Fairy article … but! This is just fine too. I hope even one of these little things stood out to even one person and made your day/week/month a little more cheerful.

Independence and Dependence

It is a known fact that I am not a religious person. If you didn’t know before, well … now you do.

Today is Easter and as a non-religious person, there are only two things that I really truly think about on this Sunday. Celebration of life in general, and chocolate. 😀

No, but in all seriousness … a Facebook group I belong to today asked what we celebrated and thought about on this day and I posted honestly.

But seriously, in the past year or so I’ve become a much brighter and more optimistic person even though I’ve ironically been in a much darker place than I have for much of my life. It is amazing the difference a little bit of thinking can do when you allow your mind to be open and hopeful rather than dwelling on your problems; despite how difficult it is to do. The payoff is worth it.

I was the first person to comment, and  two other people followed after me. Both they and the person who asked the question involved God in their statements.

Now, I know I’m biased for not being religious at all … but does it say nothing to anyone that my answer spoke of pride in myself for growing personally, and the others  spoke of gratitude for their God for “things they couldn’t possess the strength to do themselves?”

It just makes me sad. I could rant a lot about religion, organized and otherwise, but really it feels like more of a tool of controlling people than the political messages people spam my Facebook feed with all day long, all week long, forever. I understand having your beliefs and faith and all that poppycock (in my opinion … it’s my blog, if THAT offends then you should leave before hate-commenting spam) but really, human beings are so amazing. The mind, the emotions that entrance us to do all of the things we do … Why do so few people have confidence and pride in the things they have achieved? You should celebrate your personal accomplishments. I feel like it’s personal belittlement to thank a “higher power” for the things you have been able to pull through a tough situation and do for yourself.

But I guess therein lies the differences of the religious and the nonreligious.

I Want.. Wednesdays + A General Report

So, I know. I suck. I really do. I’m a terrible blogger within the school year and I really apologize. The good side of this is that I am actually getting all of my homework done which is a brand new thing to me. Usually I have a study hall to achieve the better portion of it, but this year I don’t have a single study hall until the second semester, after Psychology and gym end and Geography & Cultures of Latin America and Africa (what a long class title) begins. Which sucks.

I’m still putting my best foot forward at attempting to maintain this blog but clearly it has lost all regularity. I’m super tired most of the time because I’m in gym,  which I’m pulling off (stronger!) but am incredibly tired afterwards and I’m still insanely out of shape. I salute and love and would totally glomp all of you continued readers who still faithfully come back and check for updates despite my mess of a schedule.

So, like, my optimistic mood is completely fucked up now because a girl I used to know hates me for, like, literally no reason and thinks I’m a c-word which I really hate that word, guys, sorry if you think I’m a pussy, I don’t mind any other word but that. But anyway, yeah, she hates me completely and it’s really taking a toll on me because we’ve literally been friends since first grade. But whatever, I’m going to try to keep writing because I’ve been disappointingly absent.

I suppose I’ll just go straight into the meme. There’s a question, but because before literally a week ago the last update was in October 2010 I’m just going to do it however I want and that is with a little bullet list of stuff I want. The name of the game is “I Want… Wednesday” which, as always, I found from the lovely and ever-helpful The Daily Meme. So.. Here we go.

  • More free time. This one can’t come as a surprise to anyone who’s been keeping up with this blog as my posts went from every day to every few days to no regular schedule whatsoever, for which I again profusely apologize.
  • Lots and lots of mason jars. I don’t know where people get all these goddamn mason jars from, but I really want as many as everyone else seems to have so that I can do lots of lovely crafts and packaging for bath products and whatnot.
  • A better work ethic. I know when I need to do my homework but it’s a straining chore for me to get up and get it and then to actually do it. It sucks. I wish it was just effortless and simple as it is for everyone else.
  • More time to do my hair. I have a new haircut and if I feel a little less terrible when I’m done writing this I may post a picture of it. It’s very short, and I like it. A huge transition from what I normally have. But I still need to straighten it for it to look good, which I just never have the time or desire to make myself do.
  • More friends. No, really. I have to write this one. In case the sob story above wasn’t enough, I also moved to Connecticut in February of 2010 and I don’t know if I’ve vented about this before but I’ve got the worst kind of trouble finding and making friends here. It’s like everyone hates me because I’m a Southerner. Well isn’t that fantastic.
  • Happiness. I’m in a very sad mood now. When this happens I realize all the crappy things going on. I feel like arse for not keeping up with the blog, for barely managing to keep up with my homework, for being a sad and sore mess all the time now that school’s started… It sucks. I feel like I’m, like, play-dough that got rolled all the way out as thin as it could go and that four year old kid is still rolling rolling rolling, not realizing that it’s about to break if they aren’t careful.
Today is not the day for the picture. I apologize. I hope you all have a wonderful night, week, and upcoming weekend.