Sandy Hook and Anxiety

If you’ve ever read this blog before, you might’ve picked up on the fact that I’ve got an anxiety disorder.It is completely irrational and uncontrollable. It’s quite frustrating, additionally, to be aware of the irrationality of a feeling and be unable to do anything to change it.

On Friday, December 14th, Mr. Adam Lanza brutally murdered his mother and shot approximately 27 people at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. He had three guns on his person, one of which being an assault rifle, and another rifle in his car. When the police arrived, they locked eyes with Lanza, who then shot himself to death.

Let’s dissect that for a second. Newtown has an average household income of over 90 thousand dollars, which is higher than that of Fairfield, a commonly-known wealthy city in Connecticut. It’s 95.14% White. It’s …. saying that it’s upper-class feels like an understatement. As proud of being a Southerner as I am, it pains me to say that this is vastly more expected of a Southern state than pristine and wealthy Connecticut. Newtown is about 35 miles away from where I live. School is supposed to be safe. All of this is just terrifying to me.

Over the weekend, a student from MY SCHOOL thought that it would be funny to say something dumb in regards to shooting the school up or some other threat. He was taken into custody. I don’t know who the student was or if they’ll release him. (I’m only using he because teachers used he. I could be wrong.)

This isn’t even about political correctness. This is the fact that nearly thirty people were shot at an elementary school … and you think there’s something funny about that?

On Monday, December 17th, I had an AP Psychology midterm to take. This is the only reason I even went to school. When you have an anxiety disorder, you don’t trust things easily. When threats like that are made in a small town … I didn’t even know until much later that morning that the student was from my school. That’s scary.

One of my teachers has a grandson that goes to Sandy Hook. He was in the classroom next to the office … He heard everything. His friends. His first grade teacher.

There’s so much wrong with everything that’s happened.